AND SO IT GOES

It's not often that I end a friendship and extremely rare for me to have one end badly. But it did happen to me (and her) recently, granted she was also my lover for a while, which for a few complicated reasons didn't work out and so we chose friendship. I now realise that's sometimes a lot tougher a task to pull off than you think it might be, it's worked before but not this time. I regret it ended so craptastically but so far I've done nothing to rectify it, I'm a bit angry at how she handled it but I also understand the complications were all mine and she suffered because of it so her anger is mostly justified.

She just wasn't the one, she's awesome but not the one....for me, she deserved someone else.

Now I hear on the grapevine that she's headed to somewhere in Africa, one of our last conversations was around a job offer she'd gotten which was on the dark continent. She wasn't going to take it up but I guess she's felt now was the right time to go. Don't get me wrong, I'm not vain enough to think it's a reaction to me, she just decided it was time.

I have to admit I was really sad when I heard she was leaving, I guess I missed her more than I thought. I hope she stays safe over there and finds what it is or who it is she's looking for. I truly do and I'm sorry it wasn't me....

Footnote: I'd like to thank all of those who have emailed me and commented below regarding the above. I'd like to stress that contrary to how this has been perceived I am not feeling down and glum, I was just getting a moment down in writing. Plus I had never really spoken about this girl on here (cos I rarely discuss stuff like this) and I felt that she deserved some sort of recognition. Plus this happened a few months ago and I'm okay with it, really I am. But a big thank you to all who have shown concern and sent love....but really....I'm cool