PERTH BEER FESTIVAL

AKA Perth You Kinda Suck Festival

Perth you do sometimes kinda suck. You would think that a city in Australia, a beer drinking powerhouse, would be able to organise a beer festival and do it well. You would wouldn't you? Yeah you would. 

But no. $20 a ticket, which mind you gives you nothing more than admission, sure there's a few live bands but no one to write home about. That's the first atrocity but we were willing to get past that, it's Perth and not much happens here so you have to support stuff like this, but to arrive and then see this...

Seriously?!! We have to line up for almost an hour to get in? No fucking way. Why is there only 2 small gates in and those at the same entrance? Why are you searching everyones' bags? I mean it's a fucking beer festival, no body is going to pay you a $20 entrance fee and then sneak their own beer in. 

The whole point of the exercise is that we want to sample the exciting exotic beers you have on offer, you do have exciting exotic beers on offer don't you? Don't you? Well no, not exactly, they had about a half dozen (if that) beer tents and when I say "tent " what I mean to say is they had a table with some servers behind them and a small tent like awning over those servers so that the servers weren't affected by the 36 degree heat and full sun, everyone else on the other hand had to line up without any awnings to get one of these beers and then when you arrived at the end of that line YOU ARE HANDED A WARM BEER. Yep they ran out of cold beer at this particular "tent" 2 hours into an 8 hour event. 

Oh and to the organisers, I can get Boags, Becks and Heineken beer anywhere, it's no longer exotic. If you are going to have an international beer festival maybe source some lesser known overseas, beers not something I can buy at my local tavern and at half the price. Oh and to the organisers, this is what a beer festival looks like okay. 

So let's recap here, $20 admission, almost an hour standing in the full sun waiting to get in, then another half an hour in another line to be given a hot beer, apart from maybe one beer everything on offer can be bought anywhere, oh and did I mention the whole event was in a fenced off area no larger than say, oh I dunno, roughly 300m x 300m in size, maybe. My local pubs beer garden is bigger than that, well maybe not, but you get my point. Lets not be too critical on the organisers here, too late you say? True, but they did provide some rides for the kiddies, downside being that the rides took up a nice slice of the miniscule compound and then they charged $10 for those kidlets to get in and then made the kidlets pay to ride the rides. 

Brilliant stuff, I hope you win some kind of event or tourism award for this cos you're awesome. Although I might ask why you are enticing kids to a beer festival, but you already have enough questions to answer at this stage. Also, so glad we did the responsible thing and did a 45 minute sweaty walk into the city to arrive at this debacle, the pay off meant to be an ice cold beverage or 3 .... if only. 

 The decision was easy though, no way where we going to suffer all of the above, so we messaged the crew already in there and headed off to the Queens where we were welcomed with these big icy cold beauties....

Beer festival that my son. Saw this bad boy out the front of the Queens, owner was a helmet-less green haired girl. There was an element of Ghost Rider about it all, only no flaming skull and no leather jacket and no Nicholas Cage, but apart from that it was ALL ghost rider.... kind of.

 

On a final note and it may well have been the beer and the sun talking and none of us are true fashionistas, except maybe Macca, but none of us really thought this outfit worked, what do you think? Personally I think it needs more checks.

 

Perth YOU ROCK.