STAR TREK THE VOYAGE HOME BLOGGED

Because they're running a Star Trek movie a night up here at the mine site I'm live blogging each, why? have you ever been to a mine site? There's not a whole lot to do....

  • Whale song in space?
  • So the Golden Gate bridge in downtown San Fran is still standing 300 years later huh
  • Kirks court martial just watched video of the Enterprise exploding (as it did last film) Um who filmed that? The Klingons? err really?
  • Kirks' still on Vulcan, just saw Spock staring down at him from the top of a hill, that was creepy.
  • New not seen before and not the Enterprise federation ship on screen, no doubt it will explode
  • Nope just neutralised
  • Kirk and co flying a Klingon Bird of Prey, "Veee are on eeenn enemeeeeey wessellll seeeer" yeah thanks Chekov, no shit.
  • Fake Kirsty just said goodbye, Spock enters "Admiral" ...."Spock"....."Jim"
  • Bones first whinge of the film, I predict 6 more, I will be counting.
  • Giant whale like alien ship heading to earth, look out Japan, we tried to warn you
  • Bones bitchin to Spock, that's 2
  • Kirk looks slimmer....personal trainer?
  • Alien probe ship vapourising earths oceans. Just give em the Japanese parliament and I'm sure it'll leave.
  • No one understands the probes signal, Spock has an idea, thank christ he didn't die then or we'd be screwed
  • Bones # 3
  • and a rapid # 4, I'm revising my earlier estimate to 11
  • The probe wants to speak to a Humpback, except they're now extinct in the 23rd century. Spock suggests time warp...whaaaaaaaaat how come we've never heard of time warp before? Or have we?
  • Bones whinge # 5 and to be fair, the idea to go back in time and bring back a Humpback is a "little preposterous" I'm with Bones on this one. Obviously there are no coat hangers on Klingon ships as Sulu has draped his magnificent leather cape over his chair.....how did anyone NOT know he was gay back then? I mean hellllooooo!!
  • Time warp is bumpy and a bit like a gooood acid trip......not that I'd know :cough:
  • "Earth...but....when?"
  • Ahhhh klingon dilithium crystals are shite, no doubt they can replace them with 1986 car batteries
  • Nope they're gonna steal nuclear power from a Navy ship, of course they are, ooh Bones # 6 almost missed it.
  • Sulu "San Francisco, I was born there...." Oh come on I mean come on, how....
  • They're going down to earth 1986, prepare yourself for fish out of water hilarity
  • um...a clothing change might be useful, except you Sulu, that cape is too awesome even in 1986
  • ahahahahahaha even 1986 motorbike cops don't understand Chekov. "newwcleeearrr wesssels"
  • Spock v Punk, Spock wins
  • Fake whale is fake
  • MIND MELD!!! with a whale. Spock wears white undies btw, thought you'd like to know.
  • Seagulls struggling to fly against the wind yet Kirks' hair doesn't move....??
  • Not sure sending a Russian to steal a nuclear reactor from a US warship is a great idea in 1986
  • They must have heard me, Kirks' hair blowing everywhere now....and neat again.
  • Sulu chatting up hunky black helicopter pilot, using the cape to full effect
  • Kirks chattin up da ladies, luckily there's no red shirted ensigns nearby, they'd be doomed
  • "No I'm from Iowa, I only work in outer space" Classic line
  • Earth girl meet space ship, space ship meet girl
  • annnnd Chekov's managed to hurt himself and totally jeopardise the mission
  • Bones playing god in a primitive 20th Century hospital lulz
  • "Doctor gave me a pill and I grew a new Kidney" "Doctor gave me a pill and I grew a new Kidney"
  • Yeah yeah Kirk sure you'll call her tomorrow
  • Chekov healed YET AGAIN. Dude has to be a robot
  • Do Bones's whinges at the hospital count?
  • Fake whale looks even faker on screen
  • Hmmmm evil whalers appear Norwegian and not Japanese as earlier suspected
  • Evil whalers shit themselves as bird of prey decloaks above their heads
  • Earth girl heading to 23rd Century, no doubt as a Kirk concubine
  • Bones now making witty remarks, perhaps my earlier estimate of 6 should still stand
  • Ride home is a shorter acid trip, yep whale song still screwing earth, "ship out of control and blind as a bat" Crash landing to put Flight 1549 on the Hudson to shame, I mean they didn't have two whales on board did they?! Kirk to sacrifice his life for the whales....
  • The man has the lungs of a whale, toupee holding up well in the water, whales are saved, Kirk lives.
  • I sure hope plankton survived until the 23rd Century or this plans screwed
  • Whale answers probe, probe leaves, Earth is saved. Phewwww.
  • Let's hope Woolly Mammoths don't have probes out there, cos then we'd really be up shit creek.
  • Cue sunshine
  • Entire original cast together to face charges, final scene no doubt, they just don't have a bridge this time round so this'll do.
  • Cue applause
  • Cue Spocks' eyebrow
  • Cue earth girl, don't worry Jim she'll call you tomorrow I'm sure
  • The Price is Right curtain draws back..."It's a new starship!!!"
  • THE END

Comments

Gregoryno6 said…
I did a few months at Mt Isa back in the far off year of 1981 - doesn't sound like much has changed when it comes to mines and recreational activities.
5:08 am
stu said…
Heaps to do if sitting around smashing 12 beers a night is your thing...
6:55 am
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