FROM THE COMMENTS

Gregoryno6 left this in the comments for the Vagina Vagina Vagina post below. Perfect.

VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA

Recently whilst moving house I was packing up my shelves of books and I rediscovered an old book I'd found at a garage sale years ago. It's called On Becoming a Man....

Chapter 2: Where Did You Come From

First up I just know that by using the title above I'm gonna get a heap of hits from people googling the word vagina, but that's cool. Hey they sure as hell wont find this place by googling the word penis. Why? Because penis* is not mentioned even once in chapter two, which is kind of odd seeing as it deals with impregnation and childbirth. Curious? Read on.

*Yes I do realise that by writing penis that many times it can now be googled, but you get the point.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure it's the sperm and the egg that combines to create life not "germs". Maybe it's just uncomfortable for the author to talk about mens bits and mens fluids. Although, he sure as hell has no problem in mentioning the word vagina....

Vagina, vagina, vagina. Jeez buddy slow down there, you'll just get yourself all worked up and hot under the collar. This chapter is supposed to deal with conception but it's pretty vague on what the act of conception is. I guess it is the 50's and that sort of discussion was a bit forward for the times, so readers are left to their imaginations. The chapter comes to an end with a discussion on childbirth....

Yeah yeah pain, uncomfortable, screaming, sweating, we get it, you're giving birth and it hurts a bit. But really girls do you have to carry on, I mean it's a natural process so build a bridge and get over it. You're a mother now, toughen up. Hahaha I can imagine suggesting this to a mother today. Pretty sure a fair few mothers would have liked to have set the author straight back then too.

So that's kind of it for chapter 2, a completely inadequate explanation of where you came from. There was a union of sorts, lots of vaginas and a touch of discomfort and boom you arrived. Simple really. The chapter finishes off with two photos of a teenage boy and his parents who are seriously gettin their creep on. God help any girl he brings home to meet them, because I'm pretty sure the dad is a serial killer and mum knows but wont discuss it....

THIS IS COOL, VERY COOL

Pretty soon we will never see this happen again, the last of the space shuttle flights is rapidly approaching. Here is Discovery's final lift off viewed from a plane. Gotta love the pilot's sense of humour near the start of the clip ....

"Now folks the space shuttle's goin off on the right side of the aircraft right now, those seated on the right side of the aircraft you can see the space shuttle, those seated on the left side of the aircraft you can probably see the people on the right side of the aircraft looking at the space shuttle"

very, very cool

ON THE DRIVE HOME I WAS PASSED BY....

....these

KID'S ROCK

My buddy Dave sent this through to me today, it's one of his girls grade 3 exam papers. Have a read of the first page story about the sickly Lion and the cagey Fox....

Now check out question 2 and her response....

Teacher could have at least given her half a mark

STEPHEN WILTSHIRE

You may have heard about this guy, I'm just reminding you....

Stephen Wiltshire. This young artist is grabbing a lot of attention by the likes of CBS and other national news outlets. Stephen has been drawing cities since being diagnosed with autism at a young age, saying it’s his way to express himself. What’s unique about this artist though is that all he needs is a 20 minute helicopter ride above New York and after 7 days, 12 pens, and a lot of music on his ipod, he finishes the massive 18 ft accurate depiction of the city all from memory. He’s so accurate that when drawing Rome, he drew the exact number of columns in the Pantheon. His work is being shown at Brooklyn’s Pratt Institute along with his permanent gallery in the Royal Opera Arcade, Pall Mal.

TAICHI SAOTOME IS FIGHTING SHADOWS

Very, very awesome performance art piece

SCOOBY DOO - THE LATER YEARS

No more mysterious crimes to solve, the money dried up, Fred got fat, Daphne is pregnant....again, Shaggy had to get a job, Velma found girls (oh come ON, you all saw it comin), Great Danes only live for 10 - 12 years and the van....well the van really needs a makeover.

Spotted in Fremantle this morning

"Rokay"

ON BECOMING A MAN

Recently whilst moving house I was packing up my shelves of books and I rediscovered an old book I had found at a garage sale years ago. It's called On Becoming a Man....

Author; Harold Shryock, M.A., M.D Associate Dean of the School of Medicine, College of Medical Evangelists, Loma Linda, California

To put it simply it's awesome. Written in the 50's it has all the attitudes of a 50's society, some completely atrocious points of view and actually some bits that are true even today. I gather it's one of those books nervous parents would throw at their sons when they asked one too many questions about why girls had soft bits and nice lumps. So over the next few days or weeks I'm going to scan a few choice excerpts from each of the 19 chapters. You'll start to notice that there are some heavy religious overtones to the book but to be honest there are a heap of funny bits that aren't directly religious so I wont necessarily always be focusing on that aspect (that would be too easy). Oh and the pictures....yes the pictures

Chapter 1: Advantages of Being Teen Age

Let's go pro, who wants to be one of those tradesmen types anyway

Masters of their own destinies, well with that shirt and that jacket destiny should be very afraid.

The cover, I don't have the dust sleeve that would have come with it

I opened the book and start reading and within seconds I'm feeling pretty shit about being in my middle life. I really feel disillusioned about all of my obligations right now, sheesh, after reading that I'd be hangin to stay teenage forever. This book is scary.

Wait! What? Nobody told me when I was 13 that I had two choices, rich or saintly. This is how it all went wrong for me, clearly.

Let's turn a few pages, hopefully it gets better

Yeah, look, I don't think I can argue with that too much. Girls were pretty sissy back then, they smelt funny too.

This paragraph is my fav so far, hilarious, "Of course, you did not play with dolls" "considering they were 'girls' " "....except that boys wear trousers and girls wear skirts"

Hmmm, I remember be mostly concerned about that mornings pimple and not getting beat up by the ACDC crowd at school that day.

I sure did notice some differences in girls and in me and yes I was very curious. "off the girls" - brilliant term

Well that's chapter one, 18 to go, trust me it gets better and better, especially the sections of masturbation and homosexuality.

KING OF LIMBS

It's an exciting moment kidlets, the new Radiohead album King of Limbs is available for download and at the massive price of just 6 pounds stirling. My copy is downloading in front of my very eyes just as I write this, It will be bursting out from my speakers shortly. Here's a little taste of what you can expect....

quite the bizzare clip yeah? Well somebody saw some similarities with a Beyonce clip so they whipped up this little gem....

THAT'S A DINNER

Chani and Kate swung round my place for a seafood bbq dinner tonight, it's been so long since we've caught up so it was most excellent news that they were both in town. Treated ourselves to some crayfish and jumbo tiger prawns on the char grill. Add to that an organic tomato and basil salad drizzled in olive oil and a rocket, asparagus, avocado and goats cheese feta salad and you have quite the feast. I'm so full right now that there's no way I'm going to sleep for at least 2 more hours....

the aftermath

IT'S NOT A CONTORVERSY

AN EMAIL FROM MY MUM

If you read this blog occasionally you may be aware that my parents recently lived through an intense cyclone, cyclone Yasi. They were lucky in that the eye of the storm missed their place by about 50km's. Their house is new and strong so they only suffered minor damage. But now the damage to their patience and understanding has begun; they're talking to their insurance company. This is mums description of a conversation she had with a claims officer yesterday, read on, it's a bit stunning...

___

Hi there, during the cyclone I promised myself to be more tolerant, however the telephone conversation I had today tested my promise to the max but I held in there. I would like to share this with you;

"Good morning ##### insurance claims, can I help you?"

Yes please I would like to make a claim

"Please give me your customer number"

I did

"What is it you wish to claim?"

I would like to claim the following damage done due to cyclone Yasi, Broken fencing, water damage etc etc etc

"May I ask at what time this damage was done"

During the cyclone

"Yes but could you please tell me at exactly what time the fencing was damaged and what damaged it"

No I cannot as we were hiding from the wind and it was dark

"Surely you heard a noise and wanted to see what that was"

No not really , the only noise we heard was the roar of the wind and it was dark

"Did you not go outside and investigate?

Sorry, but it would have been too dangerous to do that

"Pardon, why?"

Because the wind was blowing at 280km a hour and we just wanted to save our lives Do you have any idea what a cyclone is?

"Yes strong winds, but madam we need a lot more reasons why you wish to make a claim and need the exact times and details"

Somewhere between 9pm and 5am, but please can you put me through to another person as I feel you and I are not on the same planet. I am very willing to be put back on hold and wait another 55 minutes to be put through to another claims officer.

"Thank you putting you through now"

Am glad to report that the next person was a lot more understanding

We are both fine and overjoyed because we were reconnected to the power today.

BREAKFAST BELL

A breakfast catch up last weekend with Karks and Linda had us wasting way too much time on a choice of venue. Eventually we all agreed on "a place on the river" and I suggested the Bellhouse Cafe in South Perth. I'd heard and read mixed reports about the place so I wasn't sure if we had made a good choice, but hey why not give it a go.

In the interest of full disclosure, back in my days as a chef I worked for the group that still owns this place, that was over 15 years ago though so I'm no longer affiliated.

We hadn't booked and after a quick glance at the bookings book the girl who greeted us at the door showed us to a great table by the front window, we were overlooking the ferry, the boat moored at the jetty and the city. Oh and yeah we were on the river.

The breakfast menu is very small at the Bellhouse but that's not usually a problem with breakfast is it? We had a gluten and dairy free one amongst us so a few requests for changes were made. Nothing major, just swap this for that please. After the initial "hmmm I'll just check with the chef" all was fine. The food probably took about 10 - 15 minutes longer than it should have to come out but we were engrossed in chat so it wasn't a biggie. For the most part the meals were fine, sadly the fried eggs Karks ordered had obviously been left sitting under a warming lamp, as the yolks had formed into an almost plastic like consistency. There's really no excuse for that, frying two eggs to go out with the rest should be easy as hell for any good chef. God knows how many times I had to do it.

All up the Bellhouse is an okay spot for breakfast, the service was attentive, the decor is a bit dated (could I suggest somebody refresh the dried pasta and the coffee bean display windows in the centre counter) the food mostly fine and the prices no different to most places in Perth. But fine isn't really good enough these days is it. The breakfast market is now big business amongst Perth's booming cafe trade. So I think I'll leave the Bell House to the locals and the tourists.

5 stale pasta shells out of 10

A VERY PUBLIC CONVENIENCE

Sometimes I see the strangest shit - bad pun intended. Spotted on my drive home today, as you do. Stay classy Fremantle.

RANDOM IMAGES # 49

When I was 18 this was my dream, only I think it involved a Toyota Hilux with a covered tray and huge off road tyres. Chasing that endless summer was all that mattered, ahhh where has that dream gone?

a clip from the 1964 movie The Young Wavehunters

The Young Wavehunters - Bobby Brown, Nat Young & Kevin Platt surfing Angourie, Northern NSW from Cleaner Oceans on Vimeo.

STOP MOTION

Playmobil stop motion clip of Joy Division and Transmission = Awesome

DAVEY DANCE WITH THE OLD FOLKS

The whole time I was watching this latest clip from Davey Dance I couldn't stop wondering what the four older peeps in the background were thinking....

"I fought a war so this fella could do this?"

"Shouldn't there be music?"

"That's what they call dancing these days? I liked it better with a woman"

"What? What? What's happening? I don't have my glasses"

"Stupid hearing aid I can't hear the music this fella sdancing to"

eh you get the drift. Enjoy

DDB -102- Cardigan, Wales from GuerillaGorilla on Vimeo.

REWORD

Every damn morning, 7am, crash bang crash. I have a construction site next door so sleep ins are a thing of the past. How long does it take to put a second floor on a fucking house? But that's not the point of this post, a week or so ago a mini skip arrived out front of that house. The builders were filling it with broken bricks. I noticed later that day that someone had filled the bin with household crap, an old ironing board, some broken shelving etc etc. Having hired a few skips in my time I know that there's nothing more annoying than your neighbourhood taking liberties with the space inside your skip. So I felt for the builders, that sympathy ended when the builders just threw all of this crap onto the kerb in front of my place.

Words were exchanged, the crap was placed into the sulo bins in the lane way and the builders put up a sign. On this sign they warned of the end of the world should anyone fill their skip with unwanted items again, oh and a $1,500.00 fine. The what now? Not sure how they expect to enforce that last bit, but whatever. If the sign makes them feel empowered so be it. Only as the days went by I started to get really pissed off with this sign and its unenforceable threat. So I started to imagine witty comments I could deface it with. They'd be so witty I'd photograph them and put them on my blog....only last night somebody beat me to it.

The intent is there, they clearly feel the same way I do about this prophesy of doom and the tax imposed on it. Only as I was applauding them, I noticed the last word. A complete FAIL yet full of WIN at the same time....

88.8 FM PIRATE RADIO?

I noticed this sign out on the corner of Aberdeen and Beaufort st in Northbridge this morning and then I saw the dude sitting in the wooden boat. Add the microphones and what we have here is ....Pirate Radio? Not exactly, kinda need to be off shore for that but I get it. Turns out it's a new community radio station looking for volunteers, so if you're enthusiastic and creative get on down there

FIRE SKY

A bit hot and muggy in Perth tonight so earlier I put the air con on for a bit, I had to close my skylight first and that's when I saw the sky

I grabbed my camera and was lucky enough to to see and capture this incredible sunset over the city

click here for the full sized version

EAMES EAMES EAMES

I have been in love with this Eames chair for a while now and I've been looking to buy one. I'd have one now, an original that is, if the price wasn't so massive. For an original we're talking between $6,000.00 and $12,000.00 depending on condition. It's a lot I know but if you look after them they don't decrease in value, they in fact increase. So once I have that amount of spare cash to throw at a chair I will....I'm not holding my breath.

I'd left a spot in my new place for the chair and of course it's been an empty spot since. Then yesterday my gal pal Gen sent me a message. "I've found two Eames chair sets with Ottomans for sale and they will take $800.00 for them both, that's $400 a set". Now as much as I really, really, really want the original, I'm more than happy to part with that much money for a good leather reproduction. It's about half to a third of the going repo rate, so an awesome find by Gen. Space be filled....for now.

The Eames Lounge chair

This one's in Steve McQueens living room, you can see the Ottoman far right of picture

here's a red leather one in an old 1950's new home brochure

Françoise Hardy looking very sexy on her Eames

Adam Sandler in....err yeah Sandler doesn't really add to the coolness of the Eames. But he's at least showing good taste

Jane Fonda and Rod Taylor in a scene from Sunday in New York

THE HOOD # 120

A new piece by Creepy down on William st in Northbridge

BEFORE AND AFTER YASI

Mum sent through a few pics of the aftermath of Cyclone Yasi today. Banana plantations destroyed, trees stripped of their leaves and a shot of Etty Beach that shows how it was flattened.

this one is of a frog taking refuge under their fence, stayed there for 2 days

this is a pic of Etty Bay I snapped a few years back

and this is the same spot now

check out the hill behind Etty Bay and how it's stripped of most of its trees

I guess the only piece of good news for Etty Bay is that those hideous blue plastic palm trees that were out the front of the shops are now gone for good.