Oh hang on, no I'm not, that's just somebody's dirty bath water all over my living room floor!!!!
"What the fuck?!!"
Yep, those are the exact words I uttered 3 days ago when I awoke to the sound of dripping water, I leapt from my bed and realised the noise wasn't coming from my bathroom, it was coming from my living room.
Now, I live in an apartment, close to the city, it isn't super trendy or uber cool, but I love it and it's a great spot and one of the pluses when I found it was that the living room wasn't flooded with water. Until Saturday morning that is.
Water is literally pouring out of my ceiling, flooding everything, the rug, my couch, my nike's (that pissed me off), my art (that majorly pissed me off) and anything that happened to be on the floor. Now It wasn't all just soapy water either, this water has, by the time it reached my floor, passed through 60 years of dirt and dead insect and rodent matter or whatever else lives/inhabits the space between my ceiling and his floor. So imagine nicotine coloured water and you have the idea. Oh and it's running down my walls as well and in fact in places has burst through the plaster on my walls and continued its flow!
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| That rug is usually a light cream colour and I don't usually have buckets in the middle of the room (that quickly became 6 buckets) |
The fact that the water was soapy and that it was coming from above made my Sherlock like instincts kick in, it's coming from the Emo's apartment upstairs. For those unaware of the Emo culture let me explain. First up you will find an artists rendition of an Emo in the pic at the start of this post.
The Urban Dictionary defines an Emo as thus:
Emo:
Genre of softcore punk music that integrates unenthusiastic melodramatic 17 year olds who don't smile, high pitched overwrought lyrics and inaudible guitar rifts with tight wool sweaters, tighter jeans, itchy scarfs (even in the summer), ripped chucks with favorite bands signature, black square rimmed glasses, and ebony greasy unwashed hair that is required to cover at least 3/5 this of the face at an angle.
A typical Emo conversation would/could be this
girlfriend: C'mon, lets have sex.
boyfriend: I'm too sad to have sex.girlfriend: I'm sad too; lets have sex and cry.boyfriend: I'm already crying.
Okay, now we have that clear, I have an Emo living above me, the dude is pretty much whacked out on substances 24/7 and has no grasp of reality, made evident in how after I ran upstairs and banged on his door until it caved in and screamed at him to turn off his taps, as he was trashing my pad, he simply got out of bed, walked through the water in his apartment and closed the door after me and went back to bed. Probably asking himself "Gee that dudes stressed, I wonder why?"
What my deco ceiling used to look like (left) and how it looks now (right)
So to cut a long story short, Emo is evicted and I've been living in hotels for the past 3 days, my apartment is trashed, but I have power again (electrics have finally dried out) and I'm out of those hotels. Not that the hotels are bad, it's just majorly disruptive and weird, cos the hotels were like only 2 minutes from my house.
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| View from one of the hotels, my apartment is across the road from the red roofed school at top of pic. |
So now for the next 2-4 weeks I will have builders in my place fixing this fixing that, friggen annoying and all because the Emo took too many of these...
Dude get a grip, grow up, drop all this emotional bullshit, cheer the fuck up, your middle class upbringing was a shitload better than half the population, chicks do not dig sad weedy pasty fucks like you, those that do generally sit around cutting themselves all day and for fucks sake if you are gonna use the chems start to be a bit more responsible about it and prepared to deal with ALL consequences, including me wringing your spindly neck for trashing my digs.
YOU SUCK!!
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THE HOTEL LIFE FOR ME
Okay I've vented and I've bitched a bit about staying in hotels, but it wasn't really that bad, I mean I don't have a spa at my place, nor 24 hours of free movies etc etc. So apart from the disruption, it's been quite pleasant if not a tad expensive.
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| One of the hotels I stayed , as you can see I didn't exactly slum it |
I did find this interesting piece of packaging under my bed last night though....
I'm not sure what you do with Kamasutra Chocolate ... oh hang on ... eww I hope they changed the sheets before I got the room
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