Watched for the first time the other night a show called Grumpy Old Men. Nice timing as it turned out, because I met one of them today!
I was at my local German smallgoods shop, grabbing a Bavarian smoked ham and salad roll, as you do. I'm waiting at the counter to be served when this rather portly gentlemen of, as it turns out, German descent pushes past me and gets served before me.
I was in a good mood so I restrained myself, I have been known to speak my mind on the odd occasion :o) I was served straight away so no biggie. This is the conversation that followed between the German dude and the Sandwich dude behind the counter.
German Dude: "Vat is dis sausage?"
Sandwich Dude: "That's the pork bratwurst sir"
GD: "how much does zis cost?"
SD: "$2.00"
GD: "Jah I vill have zis one in a roll"
counter guy cuts open the roll.
GD: "Cut zee sausage in half across like zis"
SG: "certainly"
GD: "and I vant some mustard"
SD: "no problem"
The roll is complete
SD: "That will be $3.10, thankyou"
GD: "No no no, zee sausage is $2.00 and zee roll is 60c, I vill pay $2.60"
SD: "um no it costs $3.10"
GD: "I used to be German, I know how much mustard costs, you cannot charge me for zee mustard"
SD: "well it aint free anymore and I'm actually not really charging you for the mustard, I'm charging you 50c for my time to make the roll for you"
GD: " I only pay $2.60 and vee don't argue anymore"
Now I'm gritting my teeth, I so wanna just tell the guy to pay the 50c, his loud annoying guttural voice is invading my headspace, not only have you pushed in front of me, you're now bitchin about 50 fucking cents!!
SD: "well that's what it costs, when you set the rules and prices here we'll charge differently, until then......."
GD: "Bah, grumble grumble grumble"
I get my roll, give the cheap bastard a look that could kill, he didn't see it, damn! I step out the door and jump in my car, he follows, I have to pull out and make a left turn up my street almost immediately. As luck would have it, the German dude has reached the corner at exactly the same time as me. Normally I would stop and allow a pedestrian to cross....
"Nicht dieses mal mein Freund"
... as his foot steps off the curb I swing my car around the corner, he pulls up quick smart! I glance back and he's looking at me incredulously with bits of sausage hanging from his mouth. Childish of me I know, but man it felt good!
Hope he didn't choke on that mustard :o)
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