I'm having trouble starting this post, trying to think of something witty to segway into the topic of how absolutely crap the food is at the mine I'm currently working at. There I did it I got to the topic although not in a very witty way, ah well.
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Yes, absolute crap. Let me describe last nights dinner;
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Pasta that was so overcooked it was described by someone at our table as "drowned"
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Broccoli, I mean how the hell do you ruin broccoli? Boil it until it is void of all colour and has absorbed twice its weight in water, that's how!
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Roast lamb, well roast mutton actually. Poor sheep made it all the way to 7 years old and probably thought "phew, I made it, it's just wool production for me in my twilight years then". Oh no my sheepy friend, you didn't factor in the resource boom currently exploding across Australia and thus the increasing demand for mutton to fill the orders of the cowboy catering companies feeding all the miners, who quote so low to get the contracts that they can't afford to use spring lamb. So it's off to the knackers for you!
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Then there is the matter of the gravy, used to mask the strong dark flavour of the mutton, kept in a luke warm bain marie to the side of the main bain marie in all of its lumpy and oily greatness. Even cowboy cooks like this lot should be able to make a gravy, just open a packet for christs sake.
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And last but by no means least, the soup of the day, this one's a doozy, in my 18 years as a chef not once did I think to combine these two ingredients into a soup, not once, nor did I ever see anyone else anywhere offer it on a menu...............sweet potato and banana!!!!
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Yes I said banana.
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And on that note I will sign off, pack up my laptop and head back to camp to shower and prepare myself, zen like for the epicurean delights that will be on offer tonight in that palace of gastronomy known as the camp 2 dry mess. My kingdom for a Vietnamese prawn and pork cold roll.
Post script 22 May 07: last nights dinner
Apparently if you roast a leg of pork and then pour chilli plum sauce over it you can call it Chinese baked pork. Oh and medium rare pork - not a good idea you idiots. Also, I've been to Indonesia a few times and had Indonesian rice dishes, although I've never had one where the rice is so overcooked that you can then mash it into a ball. Last night was an all time new worst meal ever. I can't wait to see what tonight brings.
Post script to the post script 22 May 07:
Last nights lovely mashed rice dish from Indonesia was this morning crammed into a tray and served cold as a "rice salad".................nice, I always enjoy a salad of stodge for lunch.
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