FACEBOOK PONDERING

Facebook!!1!?? I mean what is it really? I avoided the "Myspace revolution", nothing bad happened to me, I survived. Then one day a few months ago I was slammed with requests from friends stating that they had added me as a friend on Facebook. On the what now? So I had a look and I still cannot understand why I did this, but I opened a Facebook account. I responded to all of the requests and then I did a search and found EVEN MORE friends.
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But it's not like these are friends I don't see regularly (except maybe 5 of them), it's not like I don't have the email address, phone number, home address of any of these friends. I CAN and do contact them anytime I want. Yet now I have them as Facebook friends. I added 4 more just the other day, another hasn't responded to my request, does this mean he hates me, does this mean he's not my real friend OMG what to do.
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Then it happened, I got slammed again. This time it wasn't friend requests, this time it was application requests. Friend X has added the Pirate application, please see what sort of pirate you are. But I'm not a pirate, I've never wanted to be a pirate, what a shit life pirates lead.
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Friend Y has added the Ninja application, become a Ninja too. Hmmm this was a bit more appealing, but alas no, it's a solitary life and kind of defeats the purpose of Facebook, unless of course all your friends are Ninjas but then all the profile pics would look the same, you'd only see their eyes. Not sure I could tell which friend was which just from their eyes.
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Friend Z has started a Food Fight with you - why? What did I do to them?, Friend J has sent you a Drink, thanks, oh you mean a picture of a drink....erm thanks...I guess. Friend D thinks you're Hot, please tell them how hot they are.........why? are they feeling down? Call me on the phone and we'll have catch up for a coffee and I'll talk through your problems with you as a good friend would.
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No I don't want to play Scrabble, no I wont send you a Post It note, no I don't care if your Fish Tank is empty and it requires more fish and I do not want to be in your Entourage, unless of course you've suddenly won Lotto and we're heading to Vegas at your expense, then oh yes my friend Entourage me up.
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And why aren't I one of your Top Friends, we've broken bread together, bought each other a drink or ten, we've shared stories of failed relationships, granted most of those were mine, but still.
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So basically I'm having trouble understanding Facebook, sure sure you can find old school buddies, old work buddies, but pretty soon you start to remember why you didn't really want to stay in touch with them after you left school or that shitty job in the first place. I mean if they were such great friends you would have at least invited them to your last birthday party.....wouldn't you?
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So that's my Facebook............................ but why not call me and we'll hug, a real hug that is not an X me, not a Super Poke and maybe, just maybe I'll be able to work out your Mood without the benefit of a large smiley face emoticon.

Comments

Anonymous said…
you know what.this facebook is the most anti social thing i've ever seen.What ever happened to ringing up your mates and say "hey lets go out to dinner or have coffee or even catch a movie".
Thats the way people are meant to get together not online 100000 miles away and trying to shoot the breeze and never seeing them.LOL

lil bro
Anonymous said…
This is your best piece of ranting ever. There are shades of Vonnegut throughout, with the whimsical nature of a Twain, Vance or even Greene (pre religious experience). You just need your own phase like 'so it goes'.
Stu said…
hahahaha

ooh to mentioned in the same sentance as Vonnegut makes my spine go all tingly :)

as for a phrase I was thinking .... "and thus....."

too Kurt V perhaps? hehe
Anonymous said…
the thing that makes me happy bro is for once its you ranting about this shit and not me :)

im fully with you though. and i agree, top rant marks...

adz