I used to drive a taxi/cab. Why? I often ask myself that, it was a shitty job, but it got me through 2 years of university, so it served a purpose. I was telling a few stories from those days to a friend recently and it got me thinking that I should write these stories down before I forget them.
The sex tour
He started to get close enough to the cab to be able to hit it when I figured it was time to leave him to his phantom boxing tournament. God bless alcohol. Sometimes you would get called out to a brothel to run one of the girls home at the end of their shift. Now brothels are technically illegal but a certain number are tolerated in this state and there are some ground rules set by the police. One of these is that the girls are not allowed to stand around out front of the brothels, they would be charged with soliciting. As a result we would have to park the cab and walk into the brothel and escort the escort out (pun intended). This was kind of fine as most brothels are tucked away somewhere, but not so with one that is in James st, Northbridge. Smack in the centre of the nightclub strip. Man I hated getting a call from there. I'd have to find a parking spot in the busiest street in Northbridge and then walk in hoping to hell that none of my friends were clubbing in any of the near by clubs that night. But even the looks from attractive girls as they walked past you as you went up the entrance was enough to make me feel awful. "I'm working for christ sakes" and "No I'm not a sleazy cabbie spending his earnings on a hooker, I have a girl at home who I love... a lot... honest"
Figured that heading would get your attention. Here's a small collection of happenings I encountered revolving around the oldest trade in the world.
A very common fare was driving prostitutes to and from jobs. Now I wasn't savvy to who was and who wasn't on the game when I first started but it didn't take very long for me to be able to pick em. One instance that had a surreal ending saw me driving a very attractive 40 something woman to a motel in Belmont, just past the casino. She didn't say much but she didn't really know where she was going either so it wasn't hard to put two and two together with the short leather skirt and other trimmings to figure it out.
As I turned off Great Eastern Hwy a guy hailed me...."I'll grab him on the way back out" I thought to myself. We pulled into this seedy looking two story motel block, I looked into my rear view mirror and saw her eyes scan the scene, I remember thinking they were sad eyes. Hell of a way to make a living.
She paid, climbed out and I turned the cab around to look for "that guy". Found him quick enough and pulled up near him. He approached the drivers side window...
Guy: "Hey dooo yooo wannnna fayyyt meee" (drunken Scottish accent)
Me: "Huh?"
Guy: "Ger oot that taxi and put em up yee wankerrr"
Me: now softly chuckling "ha ha Huh?"
He started to get close enough to the cab to be able to hit it when I figured it was time to leave him to his phantom boxing tournament. God bless alcohol. Sometimes you would get called out to a brothel to run one of the girls home at the end of their shift. Now brothels are technically illegal but a certain number are tolerated in this state and there are some ground rules set by the police. One of these is that the girls are not allowed to stand around out front of the brothels, they would be charged with soliciting. As a result we would have to park the cab and walk into the brothel and escort the escort out (pun intended). This was kind of fine as most brothels are tucked away somewhere, but not so with one that is in James st, Northbridge. Smack in the centre of the nightclub strip. Man I hated getting a call from there. I'd have to find a parking spot in the busiest street in Northbridge and then walk in hoping to hell that none of my friends were clubbing in any of the near by clubs that night. But even the looks from attractive girls as they walked past you as you went up the entrance was enough to make me feel awful. "I'm working for christ sakes" and "No I'm not a sleazy cabbie spending his earnings on a hooker, I have a girl at home who I love... a lot... honest"
But I was a student and I needed the cash so just got on with it. I still chuckle at how guys somehow think that cabbies have all the knowledge on Perth's brothels. Sure we know where they are but no we don't know "Which brothel has the cheapest or hottest girls" or "Which brothel has the most Asian girls".
Hilariously a guy once hailed me about 6 doors up from a William St brothel, jumped in and said...
"Where's the nearest brothel mate?"
"Hmm I think there's one in Burswood near the casino*"
"Excellent take me there"
"No problem"
You can read the other stories in the series so far by clicking the taxi label below
*for out of towners, the Burswood one is miles away and probably 10 others in between, it was my evil revenge and the only time I ever deliberately "went the long way"
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