THIS I HAVE SEEN SO IT IS TRUE

GENERAL
  • Food served on an aircraft is for the most part awful, but food served on a train between Luxor and Cairo is downright disgusting.
  • Human travelers are impatient and annoying and no matter where you are in the world people still race onto and off of aircraft....why? I have no idea, I mean it wont leave without you and your bag wont get to the carousel any quicker than it is going to and seriously, let me out of the lift before you barge in FFS. You wont be going anywhere until we've all exited.
  • Tourists are at plague proportions these days. Blame the breakdown of the Soviet Union for that. I for one welcome our former Soviet brothers and sisters to our western attractions, only please don't pee behind the statues. K thanks.
  • Flying a lot means you WILL catch a cold
EGYPT
  • Egypt is a poor country, or at least the distribution of wealth is far from even. So be prepared to walk amongst garbage on most streets and sometimes through complete squalor
  • Cairo has a smell
  • Egypt is extremely cheap, your dollar will go far
  • Tip when you can, these people make minimum wage at best, so if they do you a service cough up some readies, remember 5 Egyptian Pounds is less than 1 Aus $ so don't be stingy.
  • Egyptians are extremely friendly and people will simply shout "Welcome to Egypt" as they pass you in the street. You don't get that back home.
  • Be prepared for some hair raising rides if you jump in a taxi anywhere in Egypt. Egyptians have some strange road rules and lanes mean nothing, it's all about the space that can be filled.
  • Egyptian drivers love their horns, you will go deaf
  • It is against the law to drive with your lights on in rural Egypt at night......yep you read correctly, you drive with them off and flash the oncoming driver as you approach....yes I do see the issues with that, but that's how they roll.
  • If you stay in a small, cheap or rural hotel anywhere in Egypt you will be asked to put your toilet paper in a bin beside the toilet, not in the toilet
  • Egypt has pyramids and lots of awesome stuff and you should go visit them
  • If approached by a street vendor and you will be, simply respond "La Shukran" and you will mostly be left alone....until the next one.
  • ALL of the trinkets sold by the street vendors are made in China
  • The light and sound show at the Pyramids is an evening best spent elsewhere....trust me on this one.
TURKEY (well Istanbul really)
  • Turkey is great fun and huge so don't base it all on the way of life in Istanbul, although I will have to return to see outside of Istanbul but that is cool
  • Russian woman love Turkey and they love big hair.
  • Communist Russia lied to us about their woman, they are not all big hipped and eating beetroot soup
  • If you are in Istanbul be prepared to eat some good food, slide down the side streets and look for busy local gaffs and go in and feast.
  • The Turks will put anything and I mean anything they can on a shish kebab and grill it and it will taste goooood.
  • Stop and buy one of the freshly squeezed orange or pomegranate juices from one of the hundreds of small juice bars you will pass. So good
  • Turkish draft beer is more than acceptable.
  • Istanbul is spelt with one l
  • You can flush your toilet paper along with everything else in Istanbul.
  • If you enter the grand bazaar expect (if female) to be groped. Expect also to haggle over prices, it's expected and the shop keepers see it as conversation and are offended if you don't
  • Turkey has amazing Mosques
  • Baklava and Turkish delight taste much better in Istanbul so eat lots of it
JORDAN
  • Jordanians are possibly the nicest people on earth
  • Jordanians are possibly the worst drivers on earth
  • There is no give way rule in Jordan it's more of a get out of MY way rule.
  • If you middle finger a Jordanian driver in response to their tail gating, high beam flashing and rear fender nudging they will simply slow down, drive up alongside you and explain carefully to you why they were right to do what they did. Sans road rage. In the end he seemed a nice chap, middle finger still stands buddy.
  • Jordanian soldiers like to sleep at their machine guns atop their Humvee and don't suddenly wake up and shoot you when you stop and ask them for directions....this is a good thing
  • Petra is awesome, go there soon, you might die any day now, who knows?
  • If you are waiting at a shop counter to pay, don't wait to be acknowledged and asked forward, the same rules of the road apply here as well. Fill the gap and push forward or else you'll be waiting forever whilst everyone else pays and leaves.
  • If you stay in a small cheap or rural hotel anywhere in Jordan you will be asked to put your toilet paper in a bin beside the toilet, not in the toilet.
  • Jordan is much cleaner than Egypt
  • Jordan has a smell.
  • Be prepared to be offered tea at almost every interaction with a Jordanian. It's their custom. The spearmint tea is most awesome, especially if you have a cold
  • The Jordanian King has many uniforms and you will see them all as you traverse Jordan, as his picture is everywhere. From military bases to snack food stalls.
  • Jordan has Crusader castles.

Comments

Anonymous said…
lol , the final frontier .

All that was relevent to Greece 20 years ago ,

and given the GFC maybe today too .

-Reb.
Anonymous said…
Welcome back. Sounds like you had a awesome time. Thanks for all the updates, loved every bit of it.
Take care of your knee and especially yourself.
Love Mum
Stella said…
Loved loved reading this Stu!
EWW to the toilet paper bin!
stu said…
yeah, probably the hardest thing to deal with. Can't say I always obeyed the rule though....