I used to drive a taxi/cab. Why? I often ask myself that, it was a shitty job, but it got me through 2 years of university, so it served a purpose. I was telling a few stories from those days to a friend recently and it got me thinking that I should write these stories down before I forget them.
I pulled up on the opposite side of the road of The Bog on Newcastle St. My fare paid up and hopped out, straight away two girls and a guy jump in. Nice, always good to get another fare straight away. They tell me where they want to go and I start to pull out.
Girl "Hang on, can you do a u turn and pull up in front of the line?" (meaning outside The Bog)
Me "Sure", I'm thinking they have a fourth.
So I wait for a break in traffic and flip the car around, cruise slowly up to the line and she winds down her window.
Girl "Hey you"
A dude in the line looks at her
Girl "Hey you, you wanna come home with me?
Dude (and me) "Huh?"
Girl " You wanna come home with me?"
Now this wasn't an extremely attractive looking girl, fairly bogan by all appearances and pretty young, nineteen maybe twenty. That said, in all of my years of lining up outside the front of bars and clubs, not once, nah ah, never did a girl pull up in a taxi and just randomly pick me out of the line to come home with her. Well never whilst I was awake that is. Dream on guys cos that doesn't happen right? Well yeah it does and I was there. Pretty sure I and the rest of the people in the line, who clearly heard the offer, were as stunned as the random dude.
You could have cut the air with a knife as some 50 to 100 people, plus me, just stared at this dude in the line awaiting his answer. Would he or wouldn't he? Cos if he doesn't then there's at least 50 other guys who are thinking "wow, and not even a drink bought, I'll do it".... The pause seemed to take forever and you could see him trying to decide if this was a prank or for real. His eyes were going everywhere.
Dude "You want me to come home with you?"
Dude "Um, yeah sure"
To which the entire line erupted in cheers, I was trying not to laugh out loud myself. This is like a movie, perhaps a porn movie, but a movie none the less. Oh and they were all far from being hot looking actors but you get my point. But that my readers is not the clincher, not the best bit by far. It's this little piece of conversation that had me in fits.
Girl "So hi, my name is such and such, this is my brother and his girlfriend, what's your name?
Dude "My name is (now I can't actually remember so let's call him John) John"
Girl "ahh shit, no that's no good, I've already had a John, can we call you Dave?"
The guy, who is sitting in the front seat next to me, looks at me probably to check if this is all real and he's not dreaming. I'm just grinning at him and still trying not to laugh out loud. Getting no help from me he turns to the girl.
Dude "ahhh yeah sure if you want"
Girl "Great Dave, we're gonna have some fun tonight.
I dropped them off at their destination and they all walked into the house. I drove off wondering how this guy was going to make anyone believe him tomorrow. Maybe his mates in the line, if there were any, backed him up. Ahhh the things I've seen.
You can read the other stories in the series so far by clicking the taxi label below