It's Good Friday eve, I'm driving home and figure I best do a bit of food shopping as everything will be closed tomorrow. So I'm innocently placing some mixed lettuce leaves into a bag, a little baby spinach, some swiss chard, that sort of thing. I notice a woman standing next to me giving off heavy sighs. I'm not really concerned with her issues, it's been a long day at work and I just want to get home. Suddenly she decides I am the person who should be told what it is that she's sighing about, I dunno, must be my kindly face or something. If only she knew..
Woman "How can they NOT have dill available on the day before Easter?"
Now I'm not really religious, so I'm not really sure what significance dill holds during Easter so I just smile at her and try to raise some sympathy in my mind, I struggle with that. She stares back at me, I actually look down at my T shirt just to make sure it's not light blue and that she hasn't mistaken me for a staff member. Nup it's black. But I feel I should at least help her a little bit, so I flick through the fresh herbs and thinking I've found her some dill I reach for it, only to discover it's fennel.
Me "There's fennel"
She looks confused
M "It's not exactly the same, a whole more aniseed action than dill, but what do you need it for?"
W "For fish"
Aaah the Easter connection is revealed, fish for tomorrow.
M "Oh well if it's fish then that's fine, fennel goes great with fish"
W "Oh I DONT think so!"
Hmmm, I wonder if I should play the chef card, do I really care enough to help this woman? I feel I do.
M "I'm actually a chef, fennel goes really well with fish, you should give it a try, you might be surprised"
W "NOT according to my Cordon Bleu cookbook it doesn't!"
It's at precisely this point that I realise I was wrong in my earlier assumption, I really do NOT care enough to help this woman. I spin on my heels, drop my bag of lettuce into my basket and announce with a certain level of sarcasm, not enough to massively offend, but enough to make my point
"Well if your Cordon Bleu cook book says no then no it is!"
I mean what the fuck do I know about marrying herbs with fish huh? I heard at least two other customers chuckle as I walked away. Happy Easter everyone, enjoy your fish, eat more fennel!