warning - coarse language in this post because it needs coarse language
About a year ago I thought I'd seen it all, or at least the pinnacle of this sort of thing. I was driving south along the Kwinana Freeway approaching Shelley Bridge, when I glanced at the car to my right. What I saw made me instantly do one of those double takes you see in TV shows. The driver was reading a book. Yep, at 100 km/h they had perched on their steering wheel a small paperback and were glancing up and down as they both drove and read. Multi tasking at its finest or at the very least, at is stupidest.
This morning that all changed, because this morning that driver now has an equal. I was sitting in a traffic jam on Vincent Street waiting for the lights up ahead to change green when a car pulled up alongside me. I didn't look over at first but some movement in the corner of my eye made me glance right, that's when I saw this...
What's that? You're not sure what's happening? Well i apologise for the crappy picture but I have placed a nice red arrow pointing towards the topic of this rant. If you click on the pic it should enlarge and you should be able to make out the edge of a bowl and a spoon. Yep, this person was eating a bowl of cereal as they drove. A god damn bowl of fucking cereal.
I'll let you take a moment to absorb this because well, yeah a bowl of cereal.
So there's just three things I want to say about this...
Firstly, how fucking disorganised can your life be that you cannot get up 10 minutes earlier than you do, so you can sit at your table or on your couch or where the fuck ever it is that you eat your breakfast and not have to eat it out of a bowl in your fucking lap while you drive through peak hour traffic.
Secondly, because I hear you saying, "hey maybe they slept in", well if you slept in and really have to make an allotted appointment or can't be late to work AGAIN, or whatever, then maybe you could rethink your selection for breakfast that day. Might I suggest a muesli bar, or a piece of fruit, or maybe dip your kitchen sponge in some water and suck the moist remnants from last nights dinner plates out of that for the duration of your drive. But maybe don't put some cereal in a bowl and pour in some milk and eat it out of a bowl in your fucking lap while you drive through peak hour traffic.
Finally I guess I could wrap this up with DON'T EAT CEREAL OUT OF A BOWL IN YOUR FUCKING LAP WHILE YOU DRIVE!
A sidenote, as this person approached the lights and the car in front of them indicated to turn right onto Charles St, they decided to cross that solid white line at the intersection into my lane and cut me off as I prepared to turn left. I had to brake suddenly and of course hit my horn, this appeared to scare the shit out of them because they hadn't even looked first.
I hope it scared the shit out of them enough that all of that milky cereal spilt into their fucking lap. What are you even doing with your life?