Today I did battle with three elderly people. Let me start by stating that I like old people, well actually I like people and it doesn't matter how old they are. But these three people had an impact on me today and it just so happens that they were elderly and prepared to participate in the tournament that I have dubbed "Me versus the elderly". (you need to read that last bit in an echoing thunderous voice)
Elderly person #1: I'm driving towards a quite large roundabout that has 5 entrance/exits, in the middle of this roundabout is a large flagpole that flies the Eureka flag. It's the spot they tell people the Eureka Stockade was on. But it wasn't, it's just for tourists and there's a McDonald's on one side of it... conveniently. But I digress, so I was about to enter the roundabout when suddenly a car appeared in front of me... going the wrong way. As in I was now face to face with a vehicle in a place that I should never be face to face with a vehicle. We both stopped, now I stopped because I had come face to face with a vehicle and the elderly driver of the other vehicle stopped because he was determining which exit to take. He wasn't bothered by me, in fact I'm not sure he even saw me. He chose an exit immediately to my left and we both went our separate ways. No harm done I guess :blink: Elderly 1 - Me 0
Elderly person # 2: I was lining up at the counter at Spotlight, glue gun refills in my hand. I stood out in the line up as I was male and under 70 years in age. Most of the elderly ladies in the line were nice enough, just looking to purchase some wool for their knitting or something like that. Then she appeared, elderly person # 2. She had a box in her arms, I know this because she hit me with it as she elbowed passed me, settling in at half a body length alongside and in front of me. At first I kind of awkwardly smiled to myself and just shuffled forward a bit. That wasn't going to sit well with her, so she elbowed past me with the box again. I tried to make eye contact, she wasn't having any of that, she was fixated on the check out ahead. I would need to be quick if I was to win this battle. Suddenly the lady at the counter moved to leave, I noticed my elbower was momentarily distracted by her box and I seized the moment. I stepped forward and threw my glue onto the counter, I glanced back over my shoulder and the elbower was frazzled, she was now out in front of the line in a sort of no man's land, with a box, with nobody to elbow and not being served. I won that round of me versus the elderly. Elderly 1 - Me 1
Elderly Person # 3: Flush with victory I exited the store and walked across the half full car park towards my car. I was almost there when a car came down the lane as I was about to cross it, it was being driven by elderly person # 3. And they weren't stopping for anyone. I had to check my stride and step back as she zoomed past me at a staggering pace of approx 10 km/h. Then this happened...
Ivy (I'm guessing that was her name because that's what it said on the licence plate) wasn't going to be confined by any white lines, oh no, Ivy was stopping right here. Four bays be damned, it was as good a spot as any, nobody else was using em anyways right? Elderly 2 - Me 1
Some days you win the tournament, some days you lose.
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