CROSSROADS AND NOSTALGIA

I find myself suddenly and unexpectedly at cross roads in my life... yet again. In the coming months I need to make some serious decisions that will affect how my remaining days on this planet unfold and the direction in which they will take. It's a complicated, sad and at times stressful period. I do tend to find in these moments, and i've had more than my fair share of these moments in my life so far, that I tend to look backwards before I look forward.

I'm not sure if it's a mechanism for determining how past mistakes were made or a way of gathering strength for what is to come, quite possibly it's both. Either way I found myself on a small journey into my past a few days ago. It wasn't planned, I just looked up and realised that I was near my grandmothers home, the one she lived in when I was a child, the house that I spent the first two years of my life in after my mothers death. Finding it wasn't easy.

The suburb is Cloverdale and the place has changed a whole lot since I was 12. I knew I just had to find the shops we used to go to with my Nan and the rest would be easy. Finding them was hard but I did and eventually I arrived at the corner where my grandparents house stood, the house my father lived in, sadly it was gone.

Bulldozed a while back it seems, now just an over grown block filled with peoples junk. The house on the left was still there and this is a house I also spent a lot of years visiting. Once my grandfather died and my father and his siblings left home, my Nan moved into the smaller unit next door. It wasn't looking anything like I had remembered it either. Also run down and hardly any recognisable features remained.

This wasn't turning out as I had hoped, it certainly wasn't giving me any strength or direction. So I decided I had one final option, my childhood home, the place I spent my preteen years. A place filled with both happy and tragic memories. Maybe that could help me.

First stop was the shops we used to head to and get 10 cent bags of mixed lollies and frozen ices. I'm happy to report that it was all still there, in fact they'd even fancied it up a bit with paint and landscaping

Not so much the old petrol station, that was gone

But the doctors surgery where I had my tongue stitched up after cutting it playing on the backyard swing was still there

So now I'm feeling better, time to head to the old family home. Fingers crossed it was still there. It is and it's actually looking really good, better than I remember it even. My dads big old shed where I spent many hours cutting up wood and playing with my train set is even still standing out the back.

 

But look at the tree in the front yard, it's huge. You can see it as a new planting in this pic of my sister playing near the letterbox (also in the above pic)

Sometimes revisiting your past is sad and sometimes it's good, I scored a little of both on this trip