CONTRAST MUCH

How is it possible for a flight to go from this to this ->
.
The flight home from Sydney was a total opposite to the flight there and I don't mean in direction. It's on a 747 and the line to get on is huge, so I wait until most are on board before going in. When I get there I find myself in the window seat with 2 beefy lads on my right.
.
The BL in the middle seat hasn't quite grasped the concept of personal space on an aircraft. His legs are spread wide and his arms are flopping over the arm rests into both of the seats next to him, meaning mine. Some gentle nudging with my feet returns my leg space to its' rightful owner - me. However he isn't budging on the arms. So for the next 20 odd minutes we joust over the arm rest and come to a mutually agreed draw.
.
Then they serve lunch, normally I wouldn't eat the lunch they pass off as food on a plane but today I was pretty hungry. BL in the middle turns out to be one of those eaters who can't eat unless his wings are fully extended. Oh joy. So he's having all sorts of trouble trying to butter his bread roll in such a confined space when all of a sudden it flips off of his tray and down the gap between his butt and the armrest. He retrieves it. Then eats it. Oh jeez. Turns out he's a south paw as well, which obviously clashes with my right handed approach to dining. "It's okay man you can get through this, it's only a 4 1/2 hour flight"
.
Sadly this was not to be the worst of it. After lunch the poor lil guy was all tuckered out and decided a nap was in order, to which he dropped his chair back as far as it could go, unfurled his wings and drifted off. Pretty soon he's in a deep sleep and his elbows are over the arm rest and into my ribs. I figure I'll just move away from him slightly, but no, that wont fix it because now he's having night terrors and every few minutes his body jumps in a small spasm and his elbows dig into my ribs.
.
Far out.
.
I take it for a few more jabs and decide enough is enough, I give his elbow a shove back towards his own ribs, which merely wakes him up wondering why the hell I'm pushing him, a few distorted words of explanation over the din of the engines later and he merely raises his eyebrows at me and goes back to sleep.
.
I add him to my list of people to be eradicated from the gene pool once I rule the world. Why can't I be seated next to an interesting and attractive female EVERY time I fly?

Comments