YOU MEDIA SWINES

I'm now officially over all of this shit, having been in Bali for the last week I've been slightly sheltered from the hype. But if tonight's news is anything to go by I should have stayed there a bit longer

"THE VIRUS THAT THREATENS HUMANITY!" yeah thanks very much Channel 7

I wonder what the real story is....

A member of the World Health Organisation (WHO) has dismissed claims that more than 150 people have died from swine flu, saying it has officially recorded only seven deaths around the world.

Vivienne Allan, from WHO’s patient safety program, said the body had confirmed that worldwide there had been just seven deaths - all in Mexico - and 79 confirmed cases of the disease.

“Unfortunately that [150-plus deaths] is incorrect information and it does happen, but that’s not information that’s come from the World Health Organisation,” Ms Allan told ABC Radio today.

“That figure is not a figure that’s come from the World Health Organisation and, I repeat, the death toll is seven and they are all from Mexico.”

Ms Allan said WHO had confirmed 40 cases of swine flu in the Americas, 26 in Mexico, six in Canada, two in Spain, two in Britain and three in New Zealand.

article in full

The population of Mexico isn't exactly streaming across the US border in a state of apocalyptic panic is it, no in fact they're doing this...

Some Mexicans have reacted to the swine flu crisis with humour and creativity. A man wears a mask with a moustache drawn on it as he talks on his mobile phone in Mexico City

So we read another article....

Scientists see this flu strain as relatively mild

Genetic data indicate this outbreak won't be as deadly as that of 1918, or even the average winter.

In fact, the current outbreak of the H1N1 virus, which emerged in San Diego and southern Mexico late last month, may not even do as much damage as the run-of-the-mill flu outbreaks that occur each winter without much fanfare.

"Let's not lose track of the fact that the normal seasonal influenza is a huge public health problem that kills tens of thousands of people in the U.S. alone and hundreds of thousands around the world," said Dr. Christopher Olsen, a molecular virologist who studies swine flu at the University of Wisconsin School of Veterinary Medicine in Madison.

"This virus doesn't have anywhere near the capacity to kill like the 1918 virus," which claimed an estimated 50 million victims worldwide, said Richard Webby, a leading influenza virologist at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital in Memphis, Tenn.

article in full

Not even as deadly as an "average winter".

I flew back in last night and thank christ I did because if it was tonight I would have to line up for a thermal scan and guess what, yep I have the flu, I caught it two days ago in Bali*. So in the mass hysteria that is flowing from this I probably would have been rushed to an isolation unit and everyone on my flight would have been tested - no doubt. They could have possibly even made an episode of Border Patrol around me, wow, awesome.

Why do we have to suffer this sort of crap from the media, sure this virus can kill but so can the flu you yourself contract every other year. But common household influenza just doesn't cut it in the dramatic states does it. K Rudd came on the TV tonight and offered a simple solution "Everyone just needs to wash their hands in soapy water after they cough or sneeze" kills the bug you see. Even the ABC couldn't let that statement go with a deep throaty voice over "But even that may be too late for some"

Oh give me a break.


*there is of course the possibility that I have slipped into the country with the swine flu and I am the harbinger of death for you all....haha sucks to be you.

Goodnight "cough"

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DAY EIGHT WAS YESTERDAY

And now I'm home, infected with the flu, swine flu no doubt. I did contemplate telling the flight attendants I had flu symptoms when they asked over the PA system but I really didn't want to quarantine the whole plane when we landed and besides I hadn't been in the US, Canada or Mexico. I mean who could be responsible for holding up the final duty free purchases of bourbon and ciggies frenzy that erupted as everyone else on my plane tore into the terminal. God help the person who causes a delay in that $5 a bottle saving. My god it was like feeding time at the zoo in the pig pen. They may have beaten me to death with duty free bottles of Mariah Carey perfume.

Someone commented recently that they're embarrassed to be an Aussie when they travel, I'll go one further and say at times I'm embarrassed to be a human.

Which brings me to Bali. I had an awesome break, ruined only by this late inclusion of a cold/flu. Bali really has changed a lot in the 10 years since I last left. Let's break it down

The Good:

• The street sellers who used to annoy the hell out you have pretty much gone
• There are some amazing restaurants to eat at now
• You really don't have to stay in a hotel anymore, pay a little more and rent a villa, pure luxury.
• The beaches are more stunning than ever
• The ocean looked like it had less raw sewrage than before
  
• It's generally cleaner than I remember it, but still fairly filthy
• The Balinese people, they are just so nice

The Bad:

• The rise of the Italian restaurant, my god why is every second eatery serving pizza and pasta.
  
• The average Aussie Joe and his family. I know it's a cheap holiday and great fun but no need to behave like the rules are all gone for the next week, treat the Balinese as you would have them treat you.
• The fashion sense of the new money Eastern Europeans (actually this should be under good as it's such a great laugh)
• The rise in sleaze, portly 50+ white men with Balinese rent boys, portly 50+ white men with young Balinese girls. Hey I'm all for some holiday lovin time but maybe leave all that sort of lovin in Thailand yeah. Meh, I sound like a priest, but hey I was suprised to see it there.
  

None of this really matters though, I'd move there in a flash if I could sort out my employment to allow for it. The Internet is changing the world, you aren't isolated there at all anymore.

Meanwhile ANSETT lied, unless this shop is telling the furpies they appear to still be operating out of Bali, I'd not recommend buying a ticket though....

I found this shop on my last day....dang, next time maybe....

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A short vid of the beach at Ku De Ta....


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DAY SEVEN

The final Ku De Ta

My last full day in paradise, flying home with a sore throat (swine flu??) tomorrow. What a trip, what a place, Bali really has changed since I was here 10 years ago. Better or worse? Hard to say and more on that in days to come.

Started today with breakfast at my fav French pastry store, Mocha Cafe, bro handshakes from the waiting staff means I've eaten there enough times to be considered partially local I guess. I'd heard about a place with good Indian linen and I need new bed sheets so found that shop, bought those sheets and headed to Warung Murah for lunch. It's a great local eatery where you choose what you want to eat from the counter and they pile it up for $4. Washed down with a large bintang and you're in lunch time heaven right there my friend.

Spotted this down near the Linen store

"we're just not that sure really"

Caught up with a friend tonight and we headed down to Ku De Ta to watch the sunset and all the beautiful people watching the sunset. We were a bit late to grab one of the couches but still managed a front of deck possie. Wow what a place, a trillion times more expensive than anywhere else in Bali but well worth it. Although $500AU for a bottle of veuve clicquot is a bit OTT. So we just stuck to hard liquor and sushi....

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DAY SIX

Paradise

La Luciola for breakfast, wow does it get any better than this place, hmm possibly does at Ku De Ta, I'll know by tomorrow, stay tuned.

Tangerine and Guava, the prince of juices

Kuta beach

Orange granita for the win

Oh yeah a vespa, not sure on the model, possibly a 68 with some 72, 76, 83 and 85 bits added in there. Gotta love the Balinese hybrid vespa, Great colour though.

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DAY FIVE

After a return visit to Mocha for breakfast it was mostly a day of sitting by the pool in between plonking my butt at a beach cafe drinking long island ice teas (yes again) and watching all the people go by....

Seriously, this chick and that guy were sickingly good looking, I expect they'll have ugly children though.

Sunday is ladyboy day at the beach it seems, counted at least 3

you dude, livin the dream

These novelty helmets are all the rage here in Bali, useless as all hell but everyone wears em

I'm not sure that this IS a reclining buddha, but close enough.

I don't know why I took this pic...architecture?

The vodka in Bali is good enough to use as motorbike fuel....huh?

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DAY FOUR

More of the same really, except for the early rise for the dawn service (see below). Breakfast of croissants and danish waiting for me courtesy of Made and then an attempt at shopping. Mostly failed at that except for some DVD's which may or may not work HA!

I did however discover the Long Island Ice Tea at lunch, a drink I had not really ever noticed before and yet I now wonder why the hell I hadn't. Man they pack a punch, who knew it has 4 shots of spirits in each glass? I do now, woohooeee.

I always ask for extra clamps when I order Spaghetti Vongole

I had read about this house speciality of Singapore chilli crabs at a restaurant down Poppies Lane so I managed to devour a dish of those tonight. I even ignored the fact that I looked like a total dufus with a big bib around me as I chomped my way through it, so delish.

Still pretty hot here during the days but getting cooler daily. Yesterday was so hot that at one stage I lifted my arm from the table and the fork was stuck to my skin, hahaha hell funny at the time.

Oh did I mention I was staying at this Villa....

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ANZAC DAWN SERVICE

Up in the wee morning hours today for a ride into Denpasar and the Australian Consulate for a dawn service. A turn out of over 200 Aussies was a pretty good effort too. Lot's of security to get into the building and I will admit to some early thoughts of nervousness as there is a current severe warning on all travel to Bali due to a strong threat of a terrorist attack right now.

So 200 Aussies standing in a group at the front gates of the consulate at 5.40am would have been a nice soft target for anyone keen to cause havoc. Thankfully no such incident though.

They put on a nice smorgasbord brekky after the service but I'm kinda done with food in trays for a while so I left to get home, Made my house maid (yes I have a maid here hehee) is bringing me croissants and danish pastries, she should be here soon....yum.

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DAY THREE

A great French pastry breakfast at Mocha cafe followed by some supplies shopping at an outer suburb shopping centre. So many treats to be found on overseas supermarket shelves isn't there...

Chocolate Negro's? Erm okay, do I just add water?

Hmmmmm a bit gritty yes

So good they bottled it

Then back to the Villa for some lunch and a swim. I love how the Villa staff just plonk themselves down on a shared day bed for a nap every midday. We really should think about the midday nap as a serious inclusion into our work days back home.

Tried to grab some dinner in Poppies Lane but the power was out so walked back to Kopi Pot for some noodles and satay. Followed by more swimming. Have to get up early for the Dawn service tomorrow.

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DAY TWO

In pictures

Zanzibar is for breakfast and yawning

Zebra is the new Hawaiian print

Just how fast is internet speed?

Yeah, but until you've actually tried Vodka with Blueberry Fanta you really shouldn't criticise me

It's weird seeing swastikas but you have to remember they don't belong to the nazis

Balinese cat be carryin some heavy bling baaaaby.

Anyone for a belt sandwich?

Chicken satay over hot coals....

....with an ice cold Bintang, the lunch of champions

An ordinary dinner at a Japanese restaurant, numerous dips in the pool, a few more Bintangs, vodkas and a G & T. These pictures you have to imagine for yourself.

Selamat tidur
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